​Words from my brave

Being ‘brave’ is one of those illusive things for me, for it means finding courage to attempt and believe in - the ‘impossible’.

It means standing up every day and shedding my fears; letting the world see the real me – the one who smiles gently, listens quietly, then wishes secretly that I could do all that others seem to do, so fearlessly.

Illusive for me, I find this to be, because I have to work so hard, every day – telling myself – being my own cheer squad – that anything is possible if you just ‘believe’.

This has been my motto for life – for performance – teaching – writing – art and business, but throughout all that … learning to be ‘brave’ has been an ongoing, uphill battle of nervous, creative energy needing to be released – to go somewhere and then, finding the strength to quieten my anxiety, shed my insecurities long enough ~ to get it done.  So many times, I ask myself, ‘Why can’t you do that? Why not? You have talent.’  And then, I hear all the realists who say, “don’t be silly – you are not a kid – get a real job – you’ll never succeed at that!’

So, I find myself shelving all my ideas - doubting myself, believing that someone else’s ideas are more worthy than mine – losing my ‘brave’ and going back to my ‘real job’ because it is secure and fits the model of society’s belief that to work a 9-to-5 job for someone else…is normal.

All over my personal space, I have motivational quotes and art to remind me to be ‘brave’ – to put my best foot forward, to put myself out there without care of judgment or ridicule…to be brave in every part of my life because it seems bravery is so fleeting, and society’s ruthless methodologies for getting ahead in life – hits my heart so intensely, I must always rebuild and remind my head – so my heart does not faulter.  And yes, this is so hard.

Creative ideas, artistic works, business creations – all different facets of me, under the persona of ‘Sketa’, has allowed me to grow – as if I am just helping someone – guiding them…sort of like being a mentor, but in this case, they are all facets of me – a broken me – slowly trying to stitch herself together every time, I lose my ‘brave’.  And so I do not have to explain myself to anyone – I just reinvent myself and the image people have of me… when I am struggling with life, its unreasonable demands, its noise and expectations of what I can and cannot do.

In all the meaning and energy behind such a statement, ‘I really do believe anything is possible’ – it creates its own energy, purpose and momentum; the more times you start again – for in starting again, and again… one learns to be ‘brave’ – until one day something truly begins to stick.  It becomes your purpose, becomes your meaning for life and nothing and no one gets to fill your head and heart with nonsense.  You finally say, ‘Enough - I can do this and I do not care how the world works.’  

I will stand by me – fight for me – be my own best friend – remain honourable, diligent and honest to me, my journey, my growth, my belief that ‘I am Possible!’

And in that – I shall find my balance, love, healing, resilience and my energy to ‘make it happen’!