​You know, there are a million and one things that I could write about, to tell you the difficulties female entrepreneurs experience, over the lifetime of being in business.
Yet, the truth is - female entrepreneurs have always had a solid, uphill road to hoe, ever since the year dot - since the very inception of this planet; when we decided we wanted to be heard not for just being a mum, a carer, a teacher, a nurse ...nor for being the opposite sex - but for just being human - for being seen as a unique individual that has something to say, change or to inspire others to be whole - greater than - and definitely worthy of receiving in this world, and the next. 

Being the gentler of creatures (I know, this is a sweeping statement, but by and large - true), I believe there is always and has always been, a need to compromise and yes, even forgo one's dreams, to a certain extent.  Why would I say such a thing?  Because we females are the bearers by sex and the nurturers by blood; we know how to get families organised - get things done - get things ordered, cared for and on track in a family - we are the micro-managers of life.  This is not a bad thing - it is a natural thing and our control over this is probably non-existent!  

Because the human race depends on at least one member of a united couple, to take care of the nest...and in doing so, there was and still is - an expectation that because a woman bears the child - naturally a woman would want to rear and be present in a child's formative years of life - at least.  We might not want to admit it, but a male's instinct is to protect the nest, and is proud, confident and extremely capable of doing so - and yes, vocal about how this is important to them.  
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Yet...why do our dreams arise, if we are not expected to act on them ...to only haunt us - to tell us that the male counterpart is more worthy of creation and dreams to come to fruition, than a female?  In today's day and age, I would like to think not.  But I would be lying, if I did not tell you that to some degree, I believe this, to be the case.

Over the last week, I have endeavoured to crank up my efforts of watercolour and focus on a 'Christmasy' theme.  And although not a huge collection of works surfaced, I have learnt that it is not the amount of work one puts out, but indeed the quality of work that evolves.  

I have learnt a great deal, stretching myself toward other areas of watercolour technique that I would not have explored had I not chosen to pursue a different theme of enquiry.  Playing around with all sorts of paper again, using what was intended for a variety of uses (of which watercolour painting was not suggested), enabled me to test my ability to produce works, even though the conditions were not perfect.  This meant, I was compelled to resolve whatever issue that arose. 

Some of those issues were: soggy paper, pilling, weak colours, inability to layer paint and glaze, transparency of the final product, mounting issues and the list goes on.  However, valuable lessons can be learned and discovery of which types of surfaces one prefers to paint  on, can also be discovered.  And believe it or not, I have now come to the conclusion - after all these years, I don't really like painting on the standard 300 gsm watercolour paper, presently available . ​

My reasons for this, I love having the freedom of creating a free, easy and very fluid style of sketch up with graphite or ink. 
I hate my tools catching on the grain of the paper because of the coarse-textured surface.  Ah, I know what you are thinking.  How about trying smooth surfaces like hot press Arches, Fabriano or Waterford?  Well there you have it - smooth surfaces are available to work on, but both the pencil and ink nib do not easily glide easily across the surface; there is still a great deal of tension involved.  They're nothing like sketch paper.

So, I compromised.  I sacrificed the ability to apply huge layers of watercolour, for the ability to bring back life to my drawings.  I went back to the basic 80~100 gsm copy paper.  Yes, copy paper.  I grew up using much the same thing.  Having three other siblings in our family, meant we weren't always blessed with spare cash to buy up all sorts of paper, whenever I needed it.  So, I got used to testing out a picture on copy paper or whatever paper Dad had lying around in the paper recycle basket.  Using this sort of paper, I really needed to lay-down watercolour quickly, because if I didn't the paper would get all soggy and the surface would be a mess.  

Anyhow, this week I got so frustrated I actually went though my entire drawer of art paper, just to see if I had any old paper - so I could 'find my hand, again'.  If you're an artist you will understand what I mean.  You'll also be asking, who keeps paper for that length of time.  Me.  Over my years, I have learnt to savour each sheet of paper, because it was always hard to come by, when I was a kid.  Plus, I'm a bit of a tree-huger and I could never waste a tree's precious gifts, knowing they take so long to grow.   

Back to my point,  surprisingly I found in the back of my drawer, a sketchpad of 'Bockingford' paper.  Can I remember from where it came or when - Nope.  Yet, this lovely paper has delighted me all week and I am now on a major search for this exact paper.  I expect it won't be as yellow as mine and will have improved over the years, but I hope not. I'm keen to see what I can find.  

I'm also keen to know, what watercolour paper you use?  Any pet hates?

Having time to get back to the drawing board is not always, an easy task.  So, this revisit, is a watercolour I worked on, in late April.  It always starts off as a bit of a scratch arrangement, and somedays - like this particular day - I was not a hundred percent committed to the task.  My mind was elsewhere, yet my watercolour and painting are always good therapy.  

So, this is where I am at this week - trying to catch up on the list (I always have a list - Yes, it does get bigger!) that I usually get around to working on, over the school holidays.  Even my writing suffers during school terms. I just manage to find the strength to keep up with the socials - can't let that die away - or I am in big trouble.  Well, that's the plan anyway. ​

I have been working through a few surface design ideas, that usually start off as either pen and ink pieces, or watercolour designs.  Given, I pass heaps of gardens - walking to and from school every day, my designs have gone a bit rouge; the weeds and flowers are dominating my work.

And the results have become quite intricate again, but they look quite okay as surface designs - that is my thought anyway.