A Different Depth of Gratitude

Many of you might not yet realise, Beth Joy Rotteveel passed peacefully away on the 17th of December, 2025 – six days before Christmas; 26 days after ‘Jon’ – formally known as Johan Albert Rotteveel (Beth’s husband) passed away; 15 days before the New Year of 2026.

But what makes her death so remarkable, was that even in death, Beth was teaching me, yet another lesson, about life – for on the anniversary of my mum’s death the 30th of December, 2025 – who passed the year prior – was also the day of Beth’s funeral.

They say, loss of a loved one changes you, but none so much as those who impart valuable lessons about learning to be brave – to rise – to get up – even when you feel you have nothing left to give – to face the challenges head on and say ‘phooey’ to it all.

Getting up on the day of her funeral was one of the hardest lessons, I have had to endure and put to memory, for without these lessons of resilience, I would not be standing, today.

Bethy Joy was like a second mum to me – she was far more than family – she was a tower of strength, my mentor, coach and confidant throughout my dancing years and childhood.

We spent hours, days, weeks together – finetuning my abilities – she was there for me, every step of the way; loving and supportive, and I would not be who I am without her.

‘Jemima Puddle-Duck’, she affectionately called me - for as a dancer, I had lots of turn-out, but no strength or control.  I was always making mistakes with my gangly, fine body and was never quite confident enough to just ‘give it a go’. 

If ever there was a wrong way of doing things – I found it, but she was so patient, understanding and passionate for life – nothing could ever feel wrong, because she always made it right.

Beth was there for me – for every blister, callous, tear, joy, disappointment, exam, rehearsal, opening and closing night.  She was there to remedy the muscles, aches, sprains and broken feet; the embarrassment of flipping over backwards on my very first pas de deux lift, and the heartbreak at finding out my leading man was gay (yes, she smiled wisely at my innocence); the pain of family falling apart; my nerves, disappointment and exhilaration at exam time; driving me to venues, auditions – telling me to, ‘Calm down, Jemima – you don’t need to stretch any more – you’ve done enough.’

And when things did not turn out as I expected and I thought I had disappointed her – she would warmly smile and say, ‘There’s always next year, Jemima – they just don’t know you’re about, yet’.

And when I thought, my life would never amount to anything as a dancer, Beth knew it was just the beginning, for she stood proudly on opening night of My Fair Lady and said, ‘Phooey to classical ballet – this is where you belong!’
Resilience, being brave and finding confidence to take the first step, jete’ and pirouette on everything in life and what it will throw at you – is not easy.  It is not something you magically find overnight, nor find in a cabbage patch.  It is built from years and years of hard work, putting in the hours and never giving up.  It is someone believing in you and the path set out before you; it is the dedication and tireless efforts of one soul, passing on the energy of life to another.

And while you think as a child, it is all about just finding one’s feet – as you learn – it is also about learning the lessons of life and remembering them, when you hit rock bottom – when you are at your lowest point, when all the chips are down and gone.  For in those moments, one finds the spark that fueled the flame – to continue walking – to run – to dance back into life – reinvented, stronger and ready to start all over, again.

So, come Christmas ~ New Year period – the spirit of Bethy Joy sat heavily on my heart – to be exact, I did not know how I was going to dance my way out of this one – to say goodbye to someone who meant so much to me and who was so much a part of me – was excruciating.

‘Would I survive a triple whammy?’ I thought.
Then Bethy said, ‘Of course you will, Jemima – there is always tomorrow.’
 
Thank you, Bethy. Thank you for sharing your soul, loving heart and spirit with me.
​You taught me so much about life.  God speed - I’ll miss you…