I have to say, everyone loves to know they are on the right track; that what they are doing, is the way of the universe and it will eventually work out for the best. One plans the days and nights; struggles through the challenges - at times not really confident that one will be able to resolve the myriad of complex problems that hijack one's mind. Doubt can be a never-ending thought process, if you don't have your neurons sorted out - in much the same priority as you organise your plan for success.
My mind is forever going at one hundred to one - it never seems to sleep. At times, I severely doubt myself - not because I don't feel I have enough of the right stuff to make it a success; I doubt myself because it is so far removed from the box of normality, in the way other people think. I worry about what they will think of me - when I'm doing what I'm doing; worry that I'm not enough, in the big scheme of things. For those who have known me - my whole lifetime, you have come to terms with my abstractness - have learnt to expect, the unexpected. For those more new to the game of friendship, then I'm just a bit of a curved ball. So how does one progress, if one is forever doubting one's abilities to succeed because of what other people think? Hmmmm - with difficulty. And, I know I am not alone here. I am pretty sure there are other abstract individuals on the planet, who think as I do. I don't reckon I am a rare Tasmanian Devil on the planet. For me, learning to switch off to the myriad of often harsh comments that artistic individuals receive - is a skill that I'm still learning - given that I'm highly sensitive creature like many artists. |
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August 2021
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